Not an Idiot
by sherlockian4evr
Summary: Sherlock doesn't understand why anyone would ever get married. The obvious explanation is they must all be idiots. John tries to explain the merits of marriage but Sherlock doesn't buy it until...


The two men were thoroughly entwined in one another: legs and arms, lips and tongues. It was the first time in days that John had had Sherlock to himself and he was determined to take full advantage of the fact.

Sometimes the doctor absolutely hated The Work, not often though, it was too exhilarating. The hatred only came into play after more than six days without sex. At least Sherlock was making it up to him now.

Abruptly, the detective stopped his ministrations. "Why do they do it?"  
Sherlock was frowning in puzzlement and John responded with a groan. All his hopes for an imminent shag were completely derailed. "Why does who do what?"

Of course, the detective expected John to know exactly what he was talking about so he gave John a withering look. "Get married. Have babies. Lie, cheat, steal, and then murder the individual that they purportedly loved 'with all their heart'?"

John groaned. "Good God, Sherlock. It's not always like that." John was propped up on his arms looking down at his lover. "You do realize that there is a large percentage of the population that gets married, has babies, and lives together to a ripe old age?"

"Hmpf. I imagine that a great number of a them only remain together out of habit. Idiots." Sherlock's disdain was palpable and matched the frown on his face. "What would be the point?"

John rolled away from Sherlock and onto the bed next to the detective. "Are we seriously going to have this discussion now?" One look at the detective's face told him that the answer was an unequivocal "Yes." He pinched the bridge of his nose before beginning. "People want companionship, Sherlock. They crave it. They want to know that there is someone that treasures them above everything and everyone else in the world." John didn't have to be a genius to know what Sherlock would say to that. He was right.

"Sentiment. Boring."

"It's really not, you know. Sentiment, _love_ , is an amazing thing." John let out a sigh. "It brings two people together and they become a family. Sometimes there are children, sometimes not. When people are in love, they learn to trust each other. They can say whatever is on their minds without fear of judgement."

"Irrelevant. What does trust have to do with speaking your mind? I don't trust Anderson and I regularly tell him exactly what I'm thinking."

John elbowed Sherlock in the side. "That's not what I mean and you know it. It's things like sex. You're more likely to share a kink with your spouse than a one night stand because you know you won't be judged."

The detective considered then gave a shake of his head. "Why? For the optimal sexual experience, one should be as open as possible with one's partner."

"Because, you prat, that's just the way it is. People get embarrassed when they talk about sex." John huffed out a laugh. "Well, most people do. Normal people."

Sherlock ignored the barb. "Again, idiots."

"You know that you're impossible, right?" The doctor didn't wait for an answer. "How about this then? When you're married, you have someone to care for you when you're sick and stand by you as you grow old."

Sherlock made a face. "There are doctors and hospitals for when a person is ill. As for growing old, why plan for something that may never happen. I'm sure that I won't live to see old age."

That last statement struck John like a knife to the heart. He spoke, his voice low and firm. "Don't say that."

"But, John. Given my line of work, it's much more likely that..."

"Bloody hell, Sherlock! Leave off with it." John was breathing hard and he tried to calm himself down. Something of his very real distress must have shown on his face because the detective actually fell silent.

Giving himself a mental shake, John returned to the topic of marriage and why people went through with it. "Anyway, as a doctor, I can tell you that married individuals tend to live longer, happier lives." He rolled his eyes anticipating Sherlock's next question. "No, I _don't_ know the statistics, but if you are really interest I can get them for you." He paused. "Besides, being married means that you have a built in best friend and it's just more fun."

"Fun. Solving murders is fun." Sherlock shook his head emphatically. "I still don't understand."

John wanted to rip out his hair. Sherlock was being a stubborn git. The doctor resorted to listing practicalities. "A married couple generally has more expendable income, they operate as a team when handling the mundanities of everyday life, and they have the assurance of legal rights regarding one another."

Sherlock considered his lover's words. "At least those points have some merit." He rolled over and started nuzzling at John's neck as if nothing had happened.

The doctor reflected momentarily on the vagaries of the consulting detective's mind then relaxed into Sherlock's ministrations.

They stroked and kissed and rolled over on the bed, John ending up on top. "Lube, Sherlock."

The detective gave a groan when John stood and left the room. The doctor hadn't even checked the bedside table, they must have run out of lube the last time they had sex. Sherlock closed his eyes and waited.

After what seemed like forever, John returned. Sherlock didn't bother to open his eyes, he preferred to let his lover surprise him with his touch.

The doctor clambered onto the bed and settled himself onto Sherlock's hips. "Just to be clear, anyone that gets married is an idiot, right?"

"Obviously." Sherlock was done with this topic and wanted to get on with the sex. He shifted his hips urging John to get on with it.

John smiled. "So, by extrapolation, anyone contemplating marriage is an idiot."

"Again, obviously." He rolled his eyes beneath their lids.

"Open your eyes." John was holding his breath in anticipation.

Sherlock opened first his right eye then his left. His mouth made a little silent "Oh."

John waited, holding out a small box that contained a simple gold ring.

Sherlock squirmed beneath him, working his way back toward the headboard. When he was sitting upright, he slowly reached out and grasped the box. Their fingers overlapped.

"You always said that I was an idiot." John smiled a small self deprecating smile.

The detective pulled John into a tight embrace. "I never should have said that. You're _not_ an idiot."

John was hesitant as he spoke. "So does this mean..."

"God, yes."

They kissed passionately. For some reason, Sherlock never questioned why people wanted to get married again.


End file.
